Lost Vegas

I am out of my element. Kind of like a monkey flapping his arms in the middle of an ocean, with no rescue ship in sight, I am a victim of where the current takes me. Not because I have come here to go on some Nicholas Cage “Leaving Los Vegas” inspired journey, it’s much stranger than that. I am experiencing something that I have not had in 13 years. A vacation with my wife, without the kids. So exciting, so much potential, so many things to get into, gambling chips to throw on the table, slots to pull and money to make. In reality, i’m sitting in our hotel bed at 10 PM with a breathe right strip on my nose, hoping I don’t wake up in a panic again, because I think I need to let my dogs outside before they go to the bathroom in the house. 

It has taking some adjusting in the short few days that we are here. We have eaten some amazing food, courtesy of a Gordon Ramsay restaurant, but I have also eaten food that hits the toilet just as quickly as it hits the bottom of my stomach. I have seen fanny packs, sandals with inappropriately high black socks and people who reek from the sweet stench of desperation,cigarette smoke and body odor all rolled into one as their hollowed eyes are transfixed on the poker screen,fingers dancing between drags of a cigarette and the deal again button. This is my reality for the next 5 days and I need to adjust or die.

I have taken a taxi cab ride that is tantamount to a robbery. A 3 mile journey that cost me almost $20 just to have lunch with my wife, who is stuck in a two day nursing seminar at a hotel that looks like a carpet store threw up in it. As I was sitting in the lobby,waiting,waiting and continuing to wait for her to break for lunch, I count no less than 5 different carpet styles in a 50 square foot area. This place needs an upgrade. Desperately. I am not here to give the place a makeover, I am here waiting for my wife to break free from the throngs of the hard working nurses who hold her hostage. Given a break, we hustle through the casino to get to a restaurant. Passing the poker table where I blew my gambling budget just an hour ago, a disgusted smirk across my face, those dirty sons of bitches have taken this Texas sucker for what he had, and spit him out. 

This trip is as much for the children I write so much about as it is for us. Left in the loving care of my brother in law, they needed a breather from mom and dad and we needed a breather from them. Its not to say that we don’t miss them,we surely do, but as selfish as it sounds the silence is deafening in our hotel room and it is a welcome lack of screaming and dogs barking that is causing us to get the rest we need, whenever the hell we want. We began our journey far too early on a San Antonio Saturday morning. First flight out, arriving before 10AM. We sat in the hotel lobby as the cleaners worked on our room, engrossed in Netflix and stomachs uneasy from the overcooked complimentary breakfast sausage. We wanted to go to our rooms as much as we wanted to meet up with our vacation partners, my sister and brother in law. These two people, who I can say indiscriminately are two of the kindest,most loving people in the world are the ones who secured the beds we would be sleeping in. They drove up from Los Angeles, arriving around 3PM, several hours after we got in our hotel room, and not long after we attempted to hatch a plan to steal the chaise lounge that was in the living room of our suite. It was far too comfortable to stay here and our meager means will simply not allow us to purchase one. The only sticking point was how do we get it back on the plane? This would require some serious planning. 

We spent our time wandering the hotels, their gaming tables their overpriced food and the constant dank smell of stale smoke. Breaking free was the easy part, but the way it sucks you back in is almost too hard to escape. I cannot justify spending $20 on one sandwich that had neither gold flakes or a bump of cocaine in it. Vegas aches for my money and my wallet is like a drunk that has had one too many and happily vomits it up. This journey was not about worrying about money or rushing to see things that we deemed necessary. Vegas is a 24 hour show, there is always time to see it. This was about spending time alone with my wife. The last time we had this opportunity was 5 kids and 6 dogs ago. It feels better to use those terms instead of actual years. We had uninterrupted conversations, never fearing what state of dress we were in because no little hands would be unexpectedly opening doors and we got to just simply sit there and hold hands and remind each other why we were so in love. This was why we came here. The airport is calling us and we are waiting to get on board our flights. We savored the last moments on the ground alone with each other. An airport lunch,bookstore jaunt and a stop at Starbucks, because frankly i’m addicted. In 6 short hours we will be back to the madness that is our daily life,but we are refreshed and will make it through the reintegration together. We have enjoyed our time in Vegas, regardless of the high prices or bad luck gambling. We have found what the new age folks call our center. All it took for us to find it, was to get lost in Vegas.