Man, what a year. This has been a weird one for sure. Celebrities who I grew up admiring are dying (Yes, I liked Wham and Prince too) and half of America seems to think the world is going to end, the other half thinks that America will be great again and everyone is so busy telling others their opinions that I just don’t want to hear it anymore. I will most definitely not be doing that here. We always come to a point in the year where we start thinking of what we want our new years resolution to be. With a body by Haby’s bakery in Castroville, Texas, it is safe to say that getting in “shape” outside of round is off the table. So I started thinking about it. Save money (not gonna happen, we have 5 kids, 2 of whom are teenagers) or do charity work are things that are wonderfully nice to aspire to, but there is simply no time. As I sit writing this, its about 2:40 in the morning, and this is my time to do those things that I enjoy. I have fallen in love with writing. When 87.3% of your day is spent sharing your world view with a 4 and 2 year old, there is not much adult interaction and writing is a great way for me to express myself.
I found joy in writing and telling my story for the Moth, which is an amazing organization that gave me the opportunity a couple of times to tell people who I would most likely never interact with the story of losing our daughter and rebuilding our lives in the aftermath. Technically, I did get a standing ovation in Santa Barbara after the last show I did with them. I counted 6 people (that I could see) out of around 600 standing and clapping. After conferring with my friend and fellow storyteller, he said that even one person standing counts. I finally finished my Masters degree, which I tell you about so you can offer me silent congratulations or small amounts of money (whichever is more convenient). Finishing my degree was a big deal to me for several reasons. 1) I wanted to show people that just because you literally spent 5 years in high school, it has nothing to do with your academic potential 2) I wanted to show people that you don’t need to be a refined, scholarly type to do it. This is demonstrated by my Carhartt heavy wardrobe, bushy looking beard and a deep love of hunting and all things redneck. 3) I wanted to do something positive for myself and my family after hitting several tough years with PTSD. I chose an academic path to give me something to work for and something that I could hang my hat on, when I completed it. I need positive in my life that I helped create, I need to do good and if I cant do it in the Army, I had to find an outlet, and I did. That is completed, so I look forward to my next challenge. Learn the guitar? Why not.
So I round back into my New Years resolution and I have decided. My resolution is to drive around teenagers as little as possible. There is a history behind this decision and I would like to share it with you. In 2009 I was in Afghanistan with a great group of guys and my bomb dog, Purzell. One day, we had to go get a bad guy. We were supposed to leave around a certain period of the evening and we did. We were supposed to get there at a certain time of night and we most certainly didn’t. Why? Was there a major shootout, IED, or Bin Laden sighting? No. We kept getting lost. For like 10 hours. If you haven’t been to Afghanistan, where we were going was most definitely off the beaten path. It was one of those places that you look out during the day and go, “There is no fucking Wal Mart anywhere near here”. There are no road signs, there is no, “Take a right at old man Perkins barn”, its all the same. Dirt road, which is either a road, or not, no one really knows. During this 10 hour adventure, which I lovingly call, “Operation Turnaround”, we did just that probably two dozen times. As daylight broke, we got on the right “road”, got the bad guy, Purzell found some explosives, everyone came home safe and it was a great day, outside of a unique encounter with a bull, who was tied off at the hoof with a shoddy piece of rope. One hoof, pissed off bull. I don’t know how we didn’t get gored, but I digress. What does this have to do with driving around teenagers? Well, I experienced Operation Turnaround 2, while taking my daughter to pick up her friend, with a final destination of La Cantera mall. With the benefit of an Apple iPhone, we turned around about 6 times in a 20 minute period, ending up around 5 miles outside of where my daughter swore we were supposed to be.
As the journey to the mall began, my ears were filled with the sweet gossip of teenage girls, which is light on sweet and heavy on gossip. When we finally reached the mall, much like the end of the original Operation Turnaround, I had another job to do. It was not writing a report about the explosives we found or celebrate with my dog. My next job was to go to Sams club with a 4 year old. She is the beautiful, profanity spewing sweetheart that we all love. Everyone who meets her loves her, but she is a unique shopping partner to say the least. With a family totaling 7, those conventional shopping carts just don’t cut it. We have to take those huge “L” shaped carts that are mostly reserved for the mom and pop shops who get their foodstuffs from Sams. So the 4 year old sits on it as we navigate the aisles. These things have horrible turning radius only being nosed out by the car shopping buggies that you see at HEB, that don’t hold a lot of food and don’t turn for shit. She wants something in every aisle. Literally. I want that. “Emily, that is bleach, you don’t need bleach”. She wants bananas. I can do bananas. We finally finish at Sams and victory in Operation Turnaround 2 has been had. I can definitely take a kid or two to the grocery store, I’ve been doing it for awhile and honestly, it’s kind of fun. Sometimes. Driving around gossipy teenagers is another story, and while this resolution will probably fall by the wayside, it was the safest one to make. This has been one of my longer blogs for a simple reason. I missed writing for you all. I wanted to share some fun stuff with you during these turbulent times. I don’t have to worry about balancing writing with school anymore, so I get to fall back in love with writing and it’s been long overdue. Happy New Year to everyone who has followed and there will be more to come!!!
